Saturday, April 27, 2013

#$(*@#%^)%​^* (Week 32)

Thanks for the emails!! I loved hearing from home and it was just what I needed right now. I don't like these monday to wednesday pdays. Meh I'm glad to hear that you all are doing well and keeping busy. That's good so then you don't miss me as much! ;) Mom- I heard about the (Boston) bombing. That's crazy! A couple from provo was actually visiting last week and they took us out to dinner on monday and the tv there had it on. So sad. I don't think you told me that Elliott got his mission call. Where is he off too? How is Sis. Scharffs holding up? She has sent me a few letters occasionally. She's so nice. What time is his farewell, so I know when not to call when we're figuring it out. I haven't even thought of mother's day in the past few days so I will try to figure things out and let you know. Why have I not thought of it til now?...I will tell you! (excuse my venting and feelings please.)
Right now, I don't even know how to describe how I'm feeling. I feel like I have been on a roller coaster this whole transfer and it has been super hard. Then in this past week, I feel like that roller coaster I was on just let the seatbelt go and has thrown me out of the car. ha I am so just aaarrrgggg right now, and am so tired with all of it. Sister Gubler's homesickness I thought was slowly getting better, but it wasn't. it was getting worse and it all came to a head this weekend. She has just been trying to fake liking it here this whole time, but she was sick of it. She is sick of the work because it is hard, she wants to be home, and she feels like she's not doing anything. She just wanted to go home because she hates her mission, being a missionary, and is so tired. I have been doing everything I can to help her and nothing was working. We talked to President so many times in the past few days, and he did all he could to help her as well, but she just wanted to go home. So, monday we didn't even do anything, and basically President got to the point that he didn't know what else to do either so, she was to call her mom, talk, and decide to either go home or stay. After a long time, she decided that she was going to stay...just because her mom wants her here. 
I am just so frustrated with the area as well because it is going so slow, and it seems like whatever I do things don't seem to work out that well. We did have our best week with numbers last week, but our worst week with emotions. I feel like people judge me for the numbers that I have each week instead of the missionary that I am and how I help people and love them. I watch all these other sisters getting baptisms and the standard of excellence, and are just killing their area, and everything is going awesome for them, and then there is me. I can't seem to get this area going and i just feel so frustrated right now. It's like every time I get the short end of the stick in a way. Gah! I know I'm exaggerating some of these things, but I'm honestly just so tired, frustrated, and confused right now. Why do I not seem to be doing anything right?  So, President has decided to transfer Sister Gubler out of White Sulphur, and send her down to Back Creek (near Roanoke) with Sister Tuckett. Sister Tuckett is awesome and will definitely help her.  As for me, President talked to me and I'm training again... I did not want to train this transfer cause I feel like I just did a crappy job training. It's hard to train here for me cause I'm not entirely sure how to do it here and then trying to teach a new missionary here just sucks sometimes. But, President wants me to train so I'll train. I know the Lord has a purpose for me and knows that what I need is here and that this experience will help me. I just felt like I had been humbled so much this transfer and that I couldn't get more humbled, and then I got another curve thrown at me today. I'm a little leery for this transfer, but I'm just going to do my best and try hard. So, needless to say, this has been fun. ha 
Other than that, I'm doing well. I will be in White Sulphur still and I hope to just help in anyway that I can here. Oh, two people in Dublin that I helped teach are getting baptized. Why didn't it happen while I was there?! Meh. Always the planter! haha Well, I hope that you all are doing better than me, and that you have a wonderful week! Isaac- did you have any experiences like this? Any suggestions? Thanks! 
I love you all!!      Love, Sister Higgins 

No comments:

Post a Comment